Two West Indians were drinking in a bar and complaining about their bossvthat he was a real pain in the butt always giving them a hard time.

The next day they met at bar again and the Bajan began boasting to the Trini, "boy ah cuss out de boss man real good, and when ah done, ah ask 'e fuh a raise and he gih it to me."

Trini looked at Bajan in suprise and asked "you mean he did'n fire you?".
So the next day Trini went in to work and began to cuss up the boss who looked at him and promptly fired him ...

A man dies and goes to hell. He discovers that there are different Hells for each country.

First he goes to the German Hell and asks what they do there. "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour. Then the German Devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." He doesn't like this so he moves on.

He goes to the U.S. Hell, the Canadian Hell, and the U.K. Hell, and discovers that they are all the same.

Finally, he comes across a very long line of people waiting ...

A man a beg a ride one night in a some heavy rain and pon top of it di place dark.Him could a hardly see. Suddenly a car stopped next to him.

Without thinking, he got in and closed the door, just to realize that there was nobody behind the steering wheel. The car moved slowly.

He looked ahead and saw a curve in the road. Scared he started praying, begging for his life. He was terrified. Just before hitting the curve a hand appeared through the window and turned the steering wheel.

The man, now paralyzed with ...

Three Jamaican sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give to their elderly mother:

The first son said, "Mi bill a big house wid land an gi mama."

The second son said, "Mi sen har a cris Benz wid a driver"

The third smiled and said, "Mi beat di 2 a unnu. Yuh memba how Mama use to love fi read har Bible? An yuh know seh she cyaan see too good. Mi sen har a Church parrot dat recite di entire Bible. It tek di elders inna di church 15 years fi teach im. Im ...

An old Jamaican lady is in an elevator in a high rise apartment building in New York, going to visit some relatives.

A beautiful young woman gets in smelling like very expensive perfume.

She turns up her nose at the old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio, Beverly Hills, $120.00 an ounce."

The old lady with a deadpan expression says nothing.

Another young, beautiful, expensive-smelling woman enters the lift, turns, looks down her long pointed nose at the old lady and says "Chanel No.5, Paris, $200.00 an ounce"
...

A Jamaican country prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand --- a frail, grandmotherly, elderly woman named Miss Ivy. He approached her and asked "Miss Ivy, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes me nuh yu Missa Williams. Me know yuh since yu ah young bwoy an quite frankly, yu ah one big disappointment. Yu lie, yu use fe tief bokkle and bruk people shap; yu gie yu wife bun, yu manipulate people an talk su-su pan dem behine dem back. Yuh tink say yu a big shat, an yu nuh know say yu a go come to nutten. Dat ...

USA: Why are you squeezing the mangoes like that?
JAM: Lissen to mi nuh, mi a beg yuh stap fingle-fingle up di mango dem.

USA: Sir, please don't throw my luggage like that.
JAM: Aye buff teet bwoy, tap fling up-fling up mi bag dem suh man.

USA: I wish you would quit lying.
JAM: Tap di blinkin lyin, yuh ole liyad.

USA: Lift the hood of the car for me John
JAM: Hey my yute, fly di bonett rasta!

USA: I am waiting for a taxi and it's taking so long
JAM: But wait, no Robot naah run todey!

USA: Get me a pop please
JAM: Beg yuh carry wan Aerated wata fi mi deh

USA: It's time for a Perm
JAM: Gal yuh head waan Cream, yuh noh si how it tough?

USA: Yuck!! This is nasty.
JAM: Kiss mi neck back!! What a sinting tase bad an incipid.
...

Ever wonder what it would be like if Jamaican buses were set up like airlines, with the flight attendant and captain giving safety instructions?

Bus driver speaking on the intercom: Welcome to Bus numba 40 running from Papine to Down Town Kingston. Please direct yuh attention to di ConDucta who will instruc' yuh on our safety and model features.

ConDucta: Hail up massive! We want yuh fi know dat yuh a ride pon di safes' bus dat run pon di Papine to Downtown route. The moggle of our bus is a 1980 Encava, own and operate by Rough Rider transports. Dis moggle can survive any adversities ...